Falling Man-I'm Not Really Falling For You

I'm really not...-shrugs-

Often times I feel really conflicted about novels. And maybe this stigma is what is keeping me from thoroughly enjoying Falling Man, but it's just not doing anything for me. It's been a while since I've "been into" fiction and perhaps this has made me biased, as I feel like I am reading a false account of what happened. Yes, I realize that the Twin Towers fell. Yes, I realize that there were people who lived in apartments nearby and had to start their lives over. Yes, I realize that people had to deal with relationship issues and sex and work. I know all these things. But for some reason, I can't help but feel that this book is not about the Towers. And yet, I can't really put my finger on what this story is about. Maybe I am supposed to state the obvious...that it's about people moving on with their lives after 9/11. Or maybe I should say something like: "The novel is actually about humanity as a whole and the healing process and 9/11 is the background story...a prompt." And yeah, I guess all these characters are human, but the novel as a whole seems stiff to me-robotic (as was mentioned in class). Sometimes I just can't help but feel that some stories should be left alone, to be told by those who experienced them and not made into fiction. But, maybe I'm wrong--what do you think?

Or maybe all the above babbling is just my way of trying to sort out whether or not I like this novel. And I don't think I do--do I? I can't help but wonder if I would finish reading this book if I didn't have to read it for a class. I don't put books down all the time, but sometimes there is that one book that really just isn't keeping me interested and down it goes, never to be picked up again...and I can't help but feel that this is one of those books. One thing I do know for certain is that I never would have picked this book up to read had it not been for this class. I was really hoping that we would read the memoir that was mentioned in 1 Dead in Attic or that we could have read Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close but that's not what happened. And I am stuck reading another novel by the guy who wrote White Noise and I'm not really enjoying it.

For one-I find the sexual undertones throughout this entire novel to be incredibly distracting. I can't help but feel that it takes away from the story as a whole. I understand what Tom was saying in class about how it possibly ties all the characters together (both the Americans and the Terrorists), but I am not totally convinced. It makes me uncomfortable...all this sex in the midst of healing. But, maybe it's supposed to make us uneasy? It doesn't make me uneasy because it humanizes all the characters...it's just...I mean...sex...really? I can't help but feel that if I had been in NYC on 9/11 I probably wouldn't have had such a vital sex drive...at least for a while! I'd have been too depressed to even think about sex, but maybe that's just me. Maybe it's supposed to be some kind of symbol for showing people healing and moving on in the midst of disaster. I'm glad their sex drives are still intact.

And then there's the characters. The only character I feel like I am getting to know at all is Lianne. All the other characters feel very flat, static, robotic...motionless...they lack growth. I don't really find myself relating with them or sympathizing with them. I don't feel like I am being trusted as a reader to know what is really going on. But, maybe that will change as the book progresses. Maybe all the good climax-ish stuff is further towards the end. I am really nervous to read a section that narrates the terrorists in the midst of flying into the towers. I almost don't want to be there. But maybe that won't happen.

And then there is the whole deal with the "Falling Man". The title had me under the impression that somehow the photo would be involved with this story, however the "Falling Man" in the novel is an artist who poses as a man falling/jumping from the Towers. I have mixed feelings about this character. I think it's odd that the book got it's title from a character that thus far has yet to seem particularly significant to me. He has showed up twice and although he stays with me throughout the book, I don't quite understand what he is supposed to stand for, aside from as a reminder of the events that took place. And in that way it's almost torturous...who wants to relive that? Even though I find the photo beautiful in many ways, this man's artistic reenactment makes me squirm...almost makes me angry. I could try to make some kind of symbolic interpretation, but I couldn't help researching to see if Delillo's "Falling Man" was real and he isn't...Delillo didn't even know about the photo and had no intention of making that connection when he titled his work.

I dunno.

One thing that I suppose I am enjoying, however, is the conversation we are still managing to have in class, regardless of how static I feel that the novel is thus far. I really enjoyed people's point of views today in regards to "identity" in the novel. I really enjoy our class discussions. And I really appreciated Emmie's insight today-wisdom result of her trip abroad.



Oh, and no, Falling Man...I am not falling for you. It's just not working out. We've had a great run, but once we finish our last chapter, it's over between us. No hard feelings. It's not you. It's me.